Sunday, September 18, 2011

My mini-Thesis: My creator is not an engineer

(Researched and composed on Sunday, 07/24/11 in Ramada Inn, Navi Mumbai)

Last month, when I was with my kids and generally talking about life, we stumbled on a thought that our creator was not an engineer. I am sure this was not a novel thought; anybody who could analyze a bit must have got to the same thought.

Well, I mean, if our creator wanted us to touch our toes for being healthy, flexible and active; and she was an engineer, she would have definitely designed our hands closer to our toes or vise-a-verse. Really, which architect/engineer would make a kitchen far away from the dining-area if he wanted the food from the kitchen to reach to the hungry people sitting in dining area quickly?  

Research by intro-inspection and observation:
While traveling, I had some free time, jet-lag and indigestion on my hands, so I analyzed this matter a little further. I got convinced. I realized God even defies physics and chemistry. He made our digestion based on acid, and yet the container he uses is so sensitive to acid. The acid hurts my throat, hurts my tongue, and eats up the lining of my stomach. If God was a student of science, she could have made my beaker, pipette and titration-set more robust. She had all the material in the world, why make my apparatus with soft tissue? Would any chemist store acid in a container that is a good solvent of the damn acid? Na-Nah! So, it appears that God has a little consideration for chemistry.

Also, I strongly remember my physics teacher telling me, “Gas is lighter than liquid and solid, and thus gas escapes from the top of a container, if it finds an escape.” Well, my pressure-cooker, tea kettle, and rice cooker always followed this rule. The steam and aroma always escaped from the top. These gadgets are made by engineers, so it is not surprising that they follow the basic rules of physics. However, my body does not follow the same rule. Gas in me not always escapes from the top of my head. Most of the time, it escapes from the bottom. Are you also in the same “boat?” Then, I get another proof-point. Man! God is not an engineer.

Because my creator is not an engineer, I was left to crawl when I was young. God knows how, but I, like you, figured out that crawling was not a very efficient way to reach anywhere. So, we start to walk, right? Parents clapping joyfully! “My son is not designed by an engineer. But, see how he figured out walking. Here, have a sweet. My son is beating all the odds.” Initial euphoria and rejoicing  was short-lived. Since I was not designed to walk, the line of balance did not always remained within the perimeter of my immature base, and I fell again and again, sometimes badly. With months of trial and error, and several bumps on my head, I figured out how to walk. Looking back and thinking very hard on this ordeal I ask myself if I was a car my designer would have been long gone – fired from her job. I mean, which automobile engineer makes a car that does not know how to drive, but has to experiment, improvise, collide with surrounding objects, and slowly and painfully learn how to drive? Now, are you with me? Man! I tell you, God is not an engineer.

Final Arguments:
Look at the mix-up, we have in our body. A tail-bone, which is not needed? An appendix, which can be fatal any time? Bones are stronger than heart? What? Our drainage systems mixed with entertainment system? Digestive system mixed with tasting system? Small ears, which we cannot turn? Eyes, which do not see who is gaining at us from behind? Mind, which is confused between facts and imagination? No, no! Our creator was not an engineer.

Based on the above research, observations, and intro-inspection, I have enough evidence to confirm my initial hypothesis,  “My creator  is not an engineer.”

My best Opinion:
You ask me if my creator is not an engineer, what is my best guess, what qualifications he or she has? In my humble opinion, at best, my creator is an adventurous, fun-loving, high-school dropout, who ventured in to manufacturing people for fun, without having adequate technical-training, certification and experience. The result is not bad for a non-engineer, eh?

Sanjay Mathur indogenius